Futile Communication – Road to Perdition
Communication matters. A lot. Reading and thinking about storytelling lately I am starting to recognize a bit more some of the communication patterns. And those futile ones seem more obvious to me now. A particular one that struck me the most lately could be called ”I know you must change” (personally calling it “dumb suicide”).
“I know you must change”
The pattern is quite simple and I bet most of you have experienced it already. The hero (failed hero, as a matter of fact) of this story is quite a smart person. He happened to recognize tons of issues & problems, scrutinized them, found few root causes and came up with a solution. The solution means a change – as it always does. He knows things need to change. He’s the one that sees, understands and thinks others will see it and understand it the same way. So he comes and challenges his peers with his wisdom telling them to bite the bullet. Peers unite in defense, challenge the wisdom, challenge the facts, or – brutally simply – they just disagree. Their defense shifts to offense and the hero is forced to defend his position, dignity, ego, and fight back with ‘yeah but’s. There’s no winning for the hero in this story, sorry, that’s life. The hero is defeated.
Ok, perhaps frustration makes me say too much about a trivial and obvious fact that the way you set the scene for any discussion is in your hands, so don’t screw it up by “shooting yourself in the knee” with a losing strategy. It’s also good to remember that there’s ALWAYS another perspective on the matter.